


the salt will spill again

by spheeris1



Category: Orange is the New Black
Genre: Angst, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-01
Updated: 2014-08-01
Packaged: 2018-02-11 06:57:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 334
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2058321
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spheeris1/pseuds/spheeris1
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alex POV :: drabble :: season one-ish stuff :: just a little ditty about things that cannot be forgotten nor remembered.</p>
<p>(title is from 'before we begin' by broadcast)</p>
            </blockquote>





	the salt will spill again

/ /

She tells herself to remember this; this, the curve of a shoulder pressed into her chest and the feather-like tips of blonde hair stuck to her lips and the rush of breath – somewhere between restless and content – sliding hotly against her ear.

Remember this, remember this, remember this.

/ /

But she forgets. More like she ignores.

And Paris looks so dull, fine glass now buried, and she watches it all fade away from thousands of miles above, watches it fade like a bruise – purple to yellow, yellow to nothing – and she forgets.

No, she ignores.

Ignorance is bliss, after all.

/ /

The dirt is cold in her palm, no amount of body heat will warm it, and she wonders if ice-water runs in her veins – no tears shed today, no tears accepted tonight.

And when she casts it down... fluttering through her fingertips, as though it were never hers to hold...

...it sounds like a door slamming in her face.

/ /

“I've missed you.”

Whispers. Nothing more than a whisper, a ghost against this naked back, against this slumbering back, and she says it again, tiny smile splitting her stone-like lips, and she didn't forget a single fucking thing.

She flicks the needle. She dreams and fucks and kicks women out of her bed.

“I've really missed you.”

A stranger blinks back at her, wasted and wanting, and her words taste rotten, taste sickly sweet, taste a little too real, taste a little too right.

She flicks the needle. She dreams. She fucks. 

She kicks women out of her bed, out of her life, and she tells herself to remember this.

Remember this, remember this, remember this.

/ /

But she forgets.

( _Piper, soft and wet, gasped pleas lost in Alex's neck; Piper, bucking and breathless, tongue shoved into Alex's mouth; Piper, right here and right now, coming undone in Alex's arms_ )

No, she ignores.

/ /

“I pick him. I pick Larry.”

/ /

And she tells herself to remember this.

Remember this.  
Remember this.  
Remember this.  
Remember this.  
Remember this.

/ /

**(end)**


End file.
